Ajit Pai is an Asshole

by David Saturday, February 4, 2017 1:47 PM

The new head of the FCC, picked by President Trump, continues to prove how little he cares for people and how much he cares for corporations.

Mr Pai, you sir are an asshole, may you rest in pieces.

Tags:

Corporate | Awesome | General | Political

Homeland Security – How to spend money and accomplish nothing

by David Friday, December 14, 2012 5:35 AM

Senator Tom Coburn has released a report concerning Homeland Security and the wasteful and useless programs it spends tax dollars on.

Want to balance the budget, well here’s a start.

Check the link for the full report: Safety At Any Price: Assessing the Impact of Homeland Security Spending in U.S. Cities

I love the Sno-Cone machines bit, they can also be used to fill ice packs in an emergency.  Wow, go figure.

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Political | Awesome

U.S. Senate nominee Todd Akin

by David Sunday, August 19, 2012 2:20 PM

It’s official, U.S. Senate nominee Todd Akin is now officially the biggest idiot in Missouri.  Missouri get’s a bad rap, and it’s idiots like this that make the bad rap oh so true.

Awesome.

Akin says 'legitimate' rape won't cause pregnancy (St. Louis Post Dispatch)

8/20 Update

24 hours later and it appears that Todd Akin has realized how big of an idiot he was, and is changing his “stupid” remark slightly.  He now says he “misspoke”.

Yea, but your still an idiot.  It doesn’t matter whether your a republican, democrat or whatever, your still stupid.  Makes me wonder how he would feel if a member of his family were raped and became pregnant, would be love that child as his own?

Todd Akin, and other’s like him, do the world a favor and please disappear.

Tags:

Awesome | Political

Valentine’s Day 2012

by David Wednesday, February 15, 2012 10:52 AM

I was just reading an article on The Huffington Post about how 1-800-FLOWERS had a major screw up yesterday on Valentines day and failed to deliver hundred’s of orders for flowers.

Now I’m not a big Valentines day guy, but I do try to get my wife and Mom something at least, even if it’s just a card.  This is especially was a hard Valentine’s for my mother since we lost my Father in June of last year, so I wanted to have some flowers delivered to her to try and brighten her day.

Anyway, I ended up at ProFlowers.com, and can’t say anything but nice awesome things about them.  Being a typical man, I didn’t order the flowers until Monday morning 2/13, so of course I expected them to be delivered Tuesday 2/14.  ProFlowers not only delivered, but the poor FedEx guy even managed to find my Mother’s house, even though I entered the wrong address.  I got the street right, but the house number wrong.  Tuesday afternoon he showed up at my Mom’s and told her he had driven up and down the street 3 times and finally saw the name on the mailbox.

Now to me, that’s service!  My hats off to ProFlowers for making it happen, on what has got to be the busiest flower day of the year, and my hats off to the FedEx guy.

Happy Valentines to you and yours!

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General | Don't see that Everyday | Awesome

Coyote V. Acme Corporation

by David Friday, September 30, 2011 3:47 AM

I ran across this today and just had to share, I laughed so hard I could hardly see.

Taken from Just For Laughs

 

Coyote V. Acme
IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT,
SOUTHWESTERN DISTRICT, TEMPE, ARIZONA
CASE NO. B19294, JUDGE JOAN KUJAVA, PRESIDING
Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff
-v.-
Acme Company, Defendant

Opening Statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote:

My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering causes as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability.

Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to defects in manufacture or improper cautionary labeling. Sales slips made out to Mr. Coyote as proof of purchase are at present in the possession of the Court, marked Exhibit A. Such injuries sustained by Mr. Coyote have temporarily restricted his ability to make a living in his profession of predator. Mr. Coyote is self-employed and thus not eligible for Workmen's Compensation.

Mr. Coyote states that on December 13th he received of Defendant via parcel post one Acme Rocket Sled. The intention of Mr. Coyote was to use the Rocket Sled to aid him in pursuit of his prey. Upon receipt of the Rocket Sled Mr. Coyote removed it from its wooden shipping crate and, sighting his prey in the distance, activated the ignition. As Mr. Coyote gripped the handlebars, the Rocket Sled accelerated with such sudden and precipitate force as to stretch Mr. Coyote's forelimbs to a length of fifty feet. Subsequently, the rest of Mr. Coyote's body shot forward with a violent jolt, causing severe strain to his back and neck and placing him unexpectedly astride the Rocket Sled. Disappearing over the horizon at such speed as to leave a diminishing jet trail along its path, the Rocket Sled soon brought Mr. Coyote abreast of his prey. At that moment the animal he was pursuing veered sharply to the right. Mr. Coyote vigorously attempted to follow this maneuver but was unable to, due to poorly designed steering on the Rocket Sled and a faulty or nonexistent braking system. Shortly thereafter, the unchecked progress of the Rocket Sled brought it and Mr. Coyote into collision with the side of a mesa.

Paragraph One of the Report of Attending Physician (Exhibit B), prepared by Dr. Ernest Grosscup, M.D., D.O., details the multiple fractures, contusions, and tissue damage suffered by Mr. Coyote as a result of this collision. Repair of the injuries required a full bandage around the head (excluding the ears), a neck brace, and full or partial casts of all four legs.

Hampered by these injuries, Mr. Coyote was nevertheless obliged to support himself. With this in mind, he purchased of Defendant as an aid to mobility one pair of Acme Rocket Skates. When he attempted to use this product, however, he became involved in an accident remarkably similar to that which occurred with the Rocket Sled. Again, Defendant sold over the counter, without caveat, a product which attached powerful jet engines (in this case, two) to inadequate vehicles, with little or no provision for passenger safety. Encumbered by his heavy casts, Mr. Coyote lost control of the Rocket Skates soon after strapping them on, and collided with a roadside billboard to violently as to leave a hole in the shape of his full silhouette.

Mr. Coyote states that on occasions too numerous to list in this document he has suffered mishaps with explosives purchased of Defendant: the Acme "Little Giant" Firecracker, the Acme Self-Guided Aerial Bomb, etc. (For a full listing, see the Acme Mail Order Explosives Catalogue and attached deposition, entered in evidence as Exhibit C.) Indeed, it is safe to say that not once has an explosive purchased of Defendant by Mr. Coyote performed in an expected manner. To cite just one example: At the expense of much time and personal effort, Mr. Coyote constructed around the outer rim of a butte a wooden trough beginning at the top of the butte and spiraling downward around it to some few feet above a black X painted on the desert floor. The trough was designed in such a way that a spherical explosive of the type sold by Defendant would roll easily and swiftly down to the point of detonation indicated by the X. Mr. Coyote placed a generous pile of birdseed directly on the X, and then, carrying the spherical Acme Bomb (Catalog #78-832), climbed to the top of the butte. Mr. Coyote's prey, seeing the birdseed, approached, and Mr. Coyote proceeded to light the fuse. In an instant, the fuse burned down to the stem, causing the bomb to detonate.

In addition to reducing all Mr. Coyote's careful preparations to naught, the premature detonation of Defendant's product resulted in the following disfigurements to Mr. Coyote:

1. Severe singeing of the hair on the head, neck, and muzzle.

2. Sooty discoloration.

3. Fracture of the left ear at the stem, causing the ear to dangle in the aftershock with a creaking noise.

4. Full or partial combustion of whiskers, producing kinking, frazzling, and ashy disintegration.

5. Radical widening of the eyes, due to brow and lid charring.

We now come to the Acme Spring-Powered Shoes. The remains of a pair of these purchased by Mr. Coyote on June 23rd are Plaintiff's Exhibit D. Selected fragments have been shipped to the metallurgical laboratories of the University of California at Santa Barbara for analysis, but to date no explanation has been found for this product's sudden and extreme malfunction. As advertised by Defendant, this product is simplicity itself: two wood-and-metal sandals, each attached to milled-steel springs of high tensile strength and compressed in a tightly coiled position by a cocking device with a lanyard release. Mr. Coyote believed that this product would enable him to pounce upon his prey in the initial moments of his chase, when swift reflexes are at a premium.

To increase the shoes' thrusting power still further, Mr. Coyote affixed them by their bottoms to the side of a large boulder. Adjacent to the boulder was a path which Mr. Coyote's prey was known to frequent. Mr. Coyote put his hind feet in the woon-and-metal sandals and crouched in readiness, his right forepaw holding firmly to the lanyard release. Within a short time Mr. Coyote's prey did indeed appear on the path coming toward him. Unsuspecting, the prey stopped near Mr. Coyote, well within range of the springs at full extension. Mr. Coyote gauged the distance with care and proceeded to pull the lanyard release.

At this point, Defendant's product should have thrust Mr. Coyote forward and away from the boulder. Instead, for reasons yet unknown, the Acme Spring-Powered Shoes thrust the boulder away from Mr. Coyote. As the intended prey looked on unharmed, Mr. Coyote hung suspended in air. Then the twin springs recoiled, bringing Mr. Coyote to a violent feet-first collision with the boulder, the full weight of his head of forequarters falling upon his lower extremities.

The force of this impact then caused the springs to rebound, whereupon Mr. Coyote was thrust skyward. A second recoil and collision followed. The boulder, meanwhile, which was roughtly ovoid in shape, had begun to bounce down a hillside, the coiling and recoiling of the springs adding to its velocity. At each bounce, Mr. Coyote came into contact with the boulder, or the boulder came into contact with Mr. Coyote, or both came into contact with the ground. As the grade was a long one, this process continued for some time.

The sequence of collisions resulted in systemic physical damage to Mr. Coyote, viz., flattening of the cranium, sideways displacement of the tongue, reduction of length of legs and upper body, and compression of vertebrae from base of tail to head. Repetition of blows along a vertical axis produced a series of regular horizontal folds in Mr. Coyote's body tissues---a rare and painful condition which caused Mr. Coyote to expand upward and contract downward alternately as he walked, and to emit an off-key, accordion like wheezing with every step. The distracting and embarrassing nature of this symptom has been a major impediment to Mr. Coyote's pursuit of a normal social life.

As the Court is no doubt aware, Defendant has a virtual monopoly of manufacture and sale of goods required by Mr. Coyote's work. It is our contention that Defendant has used its market advantage to the detriment of the consumer of such specialized products as itching powder, giant kites, Burmese tiger traps, anvils, and two-hundred-foot-long rubber bands. Much as he has come to mistrust Defendant's products, Mr. Coyote has no other domestic source of supply to which to turn. One can only wonder what our trading partners in Western Europe and Japan would make of such a situation, where a giant company is allowed to victimize the consumer in the most reckless and wrongful manner over and over again.

Mr. Coyote respectfully requests that the Court regard these larger economic implications and assess punitive damages in the amount of seventeen million dollars. In addition, Mr. Coyote seeks actual damages (missed meals, medical expenses, days lost from professional occupation) of one million dollars; general damages (mental suffering, injury to reputation) of twenty million dollars; and attorney's fees of seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Total damages: thirty-eight million seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars. By awarding Mr. Coyote the full amount, this Court will censure Defendant, its directory, officers, shareholders, successors, and assigns, in the only language they understand, and reaffirm the right of the individual predator to equal protection under the law.

Ian Frazier, The New Yorker, February 26, 1990, p. 42--43.

Tags:

General | Awesome

Solving the AT&T T-Mobile Deal

by David Friday, September 16, 2011 1:36 AM

The Justice Department has sued to stop the merger of AT&T and T-Mobile, but chances are it will still happen since AT&T will ultimately payoff Congress and the whoever else they need to in order to get it passed.  Welcome to America.

Anyway, here’s a novel idea, hold AT&T accountable to their promises.

What’s going to happen in the end is, is that AT&T will have to make some “concessions”, but besides that, what about all the “good” things this merger is supposed to bring, like all those new jobs?  Well, hold them accountable.  Ok the merger, but then stipulate that they have 1 year or perhaps 2 years for all these promises of theirs to come to fruition and if they don’t, then you will be fined $1 billion dollars per year until you either rectify the situation or break up the company.

Stop stuffing money in your pocket, secretly giving the OK to crap like this, and facing the America public and saying “I’m working for you!”.  Try doing the right thing once, and oh, sometimes simple is the best way to solve a problem.

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Awesome | General | Political | Corporate

OfficeMax and the MaxAssurance Lie

by David Friday, December 3, 2010 5:26 PM

It’s a rip-off, plain and simple rip-off.  Here’s the story. 

Back in September of 2009 I bought two Sheemax executive office chairs, model number 0001149100996.  Now I’ve owned many office chairs before, and I know that typically what happens is that after a period of time the pneumatic cylinder in them wears out and then, every time you sit in the chair, it just slowly sinks down.  REAL annoying.

In fact, that is why I was buying two new chairs, to replace two that had the same problem that were about three years old. So anyway, I buy these two chairs, they were on sale, for $129 each.  Of course when I go to check out, the nice lady at the register asks if I want the extended warranty, the “MaxAssurance”  service plan, which will cover the chair for an additional three years.  Like an idiot, I bought it, it was only $50, why not.

So, two years go by, and one of the chairs starts having the problem again, you sit in it, and it just slowly starts sinking.  Ok, cylinder shot, great.  I forget that I had bought the MaxAssurance plan, so my wife and I go to OfficeMax that evening and I buy another chair, but this time I get a $249 chair, and once again I get the MaxAssurance on it for $50.

Did I forget to mention it’s December of 2010, and Christmas is right around the corner?

After we get home and I get the thing together, it dawns on me that I had probably also bought the MaxAssurance on the other chairs as well.  So I get on the Internet, go to the OfficeMax site to check and sure enough, the chairs are covered till 2011.  WOOT, I can get it fixed and not throw it out, then give it to my son.

So I’m online, where you fill out a “Service Request” explaining the problem and asking to get it fixed.  They even have a troubleshooting article that describes the problem and it tells you to fill out a service request.  Awesome.

Nope, hang on, Service Request Denied.  Huh?  What?  Ah yes, deep in the fine print, you know the fine print you have to read with a magnifying glass or microscope, where it lists what they do cover, the pneumatic cylinder isn’t covered.  MaxAssurance CRAP.

So I’m pissed, I go back to the store I bought it from, tell them I want my money back for the MaxAssurance I bought on the new chair because it doesn’t cover anything but very basic stuff, and that I was mislead by the salesman.  Which I was, because in his little speech to sell it to me, he even said the cylinder was covered.

Well they won’t refund the money, so sorry, can’t do that.  The guy lied to me.  So sorry, you misunderstood, we can no help you.

Ok, fine, I got suckered, I bought it, so the hell with it.  Well OfficeMax, you can kiss my ass, because I won’t be coming back to your store, and I sure as hell won’t be letting some punk ass kid talk me into one of these things again.

Learn through the school of hard knocks, that’s me.  Well folks, let this be a lesson to you, don’t fall for it.  The extended warranties that these places offer is nothing more then a way to take more of your money and put in their pocket.  Maybe somewhere, someplace, they have an honest warranty, but OfficeMax doesn’t.  Damn shame too, I’ve spent several thousand dollars at that store, for furniture, supplies, etc.  Well, no more.  Hell Wal-Mart or Best Buy are better. 

So OfficeMax you suckered me, congratulations, I fell for it.  I hope you enjoy my money, because you won’t be seeing anymore of it.

Oh and the new chair?  Well, why I was online I tried to go ahead and add it to the list of registered products, just in case.  No go, seems this chair is a special holiday promo, so sorry, we got you again!  Merry Christmas!

Gee my butt is starting to hurt.

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Awesome | Don't see that Everyday | General | Thats just Wrong

Happy Birthday Dad!

by David Saturday, July 17, 2010 12:12 PM

July 18, 2010 my Father, Raymond Brune, turns 81.  Happy Birthday Dad!

For an 81 year old man, he still get’s around, is busier now then when he worked full time, and can still work a 20 year man into the ground.

I could only hope to be so lucky.

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Awesome | General

We are NOT going to die in 2012!

by David Sunday, November 15, 2009 3:46 AM

The movie 2012, suck’s actually.  Action wise it is pretty cool, lot’s of special effects and “I almost died” scene’s, but considering the story, it’s sucked.  I’m not a movie critic though, and this isn’t a critique of the movie.

This is about all the doomsday’s seer's and other nut jobs talking about how the Mayan’s foretold the end of the world in 2012.  The Mayans were an smart people, more advanced then other’s of the time, but they were not aliens and they didn’t know everything.  All this crap I hear about how they knew so much about astronomy, and science and all this about galactic alignment and what not.  POO POO on you!

If the Mayan’s were so damn advanced that they could predict the end of the world 2000 years later, then how come they all died out?  Huh, explain that!

I was watching the Sci-Fi, sorry SyFy, channel last night and they had this “documentary” on about 2012 and the end of the world, and all these “scientists” on talking about how the Mayan’s predicted the end of the world, and what’s going to happen, and galactic alignment, and solar flares, and all this horse manure nonsense stuff.

Does anybody remember several years ago when the doomsayers all came out and said all the planets in the solar system were going to align, and how the earth would be ripped apart.  Yea, that happened, right.

Same thing here folks.  As for solar cycles and solar flares, the sun goes through cycles all the time, solar flares of huge magnitudes erupt all the time, and we don’t die.  Sure it causes some problems with satellites, and makes for one hell-of-a display up north around Alaska and such, but that’s it.

All these so called scientists were saying on this show how the Mayan calendar talks about this 2012 year, sure, a galactic alignment, the Earth, Sun and center of our galaxy will be in a relatively straight line.  Heck, happens once every 25,000 years I think, so that would be something I would mark on calendar.

As for marking the end of the world, how do they know, heck we don’t even know.  And your going to believe a “prediction” from a people that not only disappeared, but also used to cut the hearts out of virgins to appease the God’s.  Nope, don’t think so.

Now if I’m wrong and we all die in 2012, well my sincerest apologies.  I’ll see you in the afterlife.  Hopefully.

Till later, be well and may the farce, I mean force, be with you.

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Awesome | Don't see that Everyday | General | Thats just Wrong | The TV did it again

Do you shop at Wal-Mart?

by David Friday, October 2, 2009 6:20 AM

If you shop at Wal-Mart, you might want to check and see if your picture is on this site.  If it’s not, hurrah! for you.

Check it out.  People of Wal-Mart

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Awesome | Don't see that Everyday | General | Thats just Wrong

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